Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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