...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Randomize
