I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
