i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
