Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
