The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
