so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
