YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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