I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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