Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
