So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
