found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm bleeding and have questions
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
