Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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