I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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