so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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