We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
