You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm too high and old for this...
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
