and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
