would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I wear drunk well.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
