my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
