i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I need a beard to bite.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
