well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
