a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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