Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
