Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize