my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Panties = found
Randomize