I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
