i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
