Dual....:-)
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
