they need to just BURY HIM!
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
