My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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