Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
