May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
