Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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