I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
