just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
