my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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