Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
