I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
