They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
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