so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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