I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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