I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Randomize
