brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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