i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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