I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
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Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
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I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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