Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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