mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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