The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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