i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
