Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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