Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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