oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The dick lei will go down in squad history
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
