I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
