tell your sister to shave her snatch
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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