My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
