i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize