Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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