Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize