A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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