i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Im part way to drunk.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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