No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
