i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
try to milk me bitch
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