Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
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