Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
