I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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