she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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