I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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