I cannot find my penis.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Randomize
